


It’s like you told me, go forward slowly

by Spiritphoned



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (only for who is murdered though), Akamatsu Kaede Lives, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, POV Akamatsu Kaede, Spoilers for V3 Ch1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 10:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17506679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiritphoned/pseuds/Spiritphoned
Summary: Standing in the doorway like a phantom spirit, she let the door stay open for a moment before she let her feet move forwards and take her into the room. Shutting the door as she entered, she calmly made her way to the main feature of the room. It sat there, bathed in the moonlight, shiny and new. It’s sleek black exterior, it’s glossy and white keys, the plush stool placed in front, the piano was a welcome sight and comfort to see, like a friend that’s been away for far too long.—Kaede goes to her lab after the first trial, and reflects





	It’s like you told me, go forward slowly

**Author's Note:**

> Italics mean it happened in the past

Her footsteps echoed down the hall into the hollow night, the moonlight dimly illuminating the halls in a silver light. She walked down the eerie hallway, flooded with overgrown plants and lingering memories of a place now forgotten. It was a rather short trip, but the time it took to reach her destination was unknown to her, as she could slowly feel her mind numbing away into an shell of what she knew to be. Time stopped entirely, or rather, had it really been there at all? Had she told herself to walk here? She couldn’t tell anymore, she couldn’t tell if she really knew in the first place. A creak and a gentle swing of a door punctuated the stopping of the footsteps. There was a pause before silently, the door opened so wide it hit the wall with a gentle, almost inaudible bang.

“ _So Kaede? What do you have to say for yourself?”. Her heart raced, her breath caught in her throat. Her? The culprit? No no no NO! They had arrived at a wrong conclusion, they took a wrong turn somewhere, whatever. The one thing she can be sure of, a concrete piece of evidence she had was she didn’t do it, that’s a fact. Yet here they stood, accusing her of the cold blooded murder of an ally. Finding her words from deep within, she spoke up, loud and clear, voice echoing throughout the trial room. “No, y-you’ve got it all wrong! I didn’t kill Rantaro!”. It was Kaito who spoke up next. “What are you, insane? There’s no way Kaede is the culprit, she’s in no way capable of that!” She heaved a small sigh of relief. She knew that someone like Kaito would have her back in times like this. But however, she would need to thank him later because of right now, her and all her classmates lives are on the line. Desperately and silently, her brain raced to think of a new avenue to go down, to try to find a new connection, ANYTHING to prove her innocence, something to prove that they were incorrect in their accusation. Laying down the clues and the situations, she began to go over the clues inside her mind, comparing them to everything she else she had discovered. As the others fought for her innocence for her, within her minds eye, she made her way down the mental checklist of evidence, comparing and contrasting the visual clues she could see..._

_...Was it just her, or did these photos of Rantaro seem off?_

Standing in the doorway like a phantom spirit, she let the door stay open for a moment before she let her feet move forwards and take her into the room. Shutting the door as she entered, she calmly made her way to the main feature of the room. It sat there, bathed in the moonlight, shiny and new. It’s sleek black exterior, it’s glossy and white keys, the plush stool placed in front, the piano was a welcome sight and comfort to see, like a friend that’s been away for far too long. Gently, she sat herself down in front of it. She lightly placed her hand on the keys, but she did not play. Rather, she glided her fingers across the keys, slowly and with love. Not a single mark, smudge, or nick on them. This really was a brand new, untouched, grand piano. Normally, she would have been ecstatic to play on a gorgeous piece of craftsmanship like this, but inside, all she felt was a cruel and cold longing, a guilty twinge of regret, and the hollow hold of grief wrapping itself like vines around her heart. It squeezed and it smothered her heartbeat to a beating that pulsated sorrow through her bloodstream.

_Despite her best efforts, it felt impossible to tear her eyes away, to form words, to **breathe**. She stared at him, a dawning horror forming inside her head. The idea, the truth, it battled against her belief and her misplaced hopes in a stormy ruckus, drowning out all other sounds within and without the court room. “It’s not possible” she screamed at herself, yet there it stood, proudly waving its flag of honesty._

_“There’s no way Shuuichi is responsible...”_

_Yet her mind knew better. **He** was the one responsible for setting up the secret door camera. **He** was the one who was left alone upstairs. **He** was the one who had the time to pick up the ball. The realization had hit her, full force and with no holds barred. But still within her heart of hearts, she so desperately wished to fight for him, for his innocence. Faintly she recognized someone saying something along the lines of “Her silence speaks volumes”, and being met with an uproar of denial from another. Is this how he felt? How terrifying it is to face the cold hard truth? Perhaps in this moment, she understood him better then she had ever had before. Underneath her feet, the stand began to shift and rotate, until it began to lift into the air. _

She felt like her head was going to spin right off her shoulders. It took everything in her consciousness to ground herself and prevent herself from tumbling over. She dug her nails into the soft leather of the stool, the small pricks of pain sending the first sensation of anything to her brain for the first time in what felt like hours. The squeezing feeling around her heart, and slowly, she eased her nails out of the upholstery. Yet, despite this, it felt as if time wasn’t moving, that inside her mind, she stood still in the trial room, watching his death from feet away, helpless to do anything as the life slowly drained from his eyes. She... she needed a distraction. Peeling herself from the piano, she glided across the dim room, her footsteps echoing off the walls in a sharp resonance. The room was infected with the same hollow feeling she felt, the tendrils of guilt and grief snaking its way up the walls just as they wrapped themselves around her very core, infecting her with a feeling that she currently believes to be a feeling worse then death.

_She didn’t register anything of what had occurred. She knew it was a full on debate wether or not she is the culprit. Yet the words they spoke only bounced off silent and unresponsive ears. They had been firmly placed back into solid ground, and the debate had continued on as normal. It felt as if ice had solidified every bone in her body, every drop of blood in her veins. This truth had caused more harm then she could have ever known. It petrified her and struck her down. It had taken a sense of solidarity and a honest truth and ripped it away from her very grasp, **and it terrified her.** Knowing the moment you open your mouth to say the words forming on your lips will cause the end of a human life, the damnation of a once breathing soul, one can only imagine how it felt. Here she stood, feeling the very fear that consumed the one she cared for, the one that the moment she speaks, will be torn away and left to rot, it felt like lead anchors had been tied to her gut. It wasn’t until a loud shout of her name tore her out of her stupor. Just how much had she missed, how long had she been like this? Her eyes refocused onto across the circle of students, to see him, looking at her from under his cap with pleading eyes._

_“Kaede... if you have something to say, you have to say it now. Don’t hold back.”_

_Hearing those words from him of all people felt like a gut punch and a dagger in her heart at the same time. What was he doing? Did he know that when she opened her mouth to tell the honest truth that he would be killed? But studying his face from across the room, she saw something she hadn’t seen before._

_A small, sad smile that spoke an unheard and a gentle “please” between them._

In a total silence, she scanned her eyes across the shelves full of sheet music, dully registering the rows of familiar pieces. But none of them felt right. None of them expressed how she felt as of right now. None of them were worthy of her feelings, of... of him. That was until her eyes met a familiar piece she was talking about only mere hours ago

_“I wish there was a piano here, I’d play you a song to help you cheer up! Hm, a pretty song to play for you... oh, like claire de lune by debussy!”_

Her hand suddenly curled into a tight fist, her nails digging in deep to her palm. Inside her chest, something sparked. She wished it didn’t. Forcing her fingers to uncurl felt like ripping her hand off of super clue. Her hand stood still for a moment, before she reached up and plucked the sheets off the shelf despite her telling herself no, and she stood, breathing for a moment. Only breathing. Not thinking, no, never thinking. Thinking about this will leave a feeling worse then feeling nothing. She knew this wouldn’t help, it would only cause her to wallow in grief and in guilt, yet she still wandered to the piano, seemingly of her own accord. Perhaps she still wished to cling to a remnant of him, a memory of a time much simpler. Whatever the case, her fingers clutched the paper in a death grip and before continuing, she took a deep inhale to bury the rising heat of feelings stirring within her guilty heart and hollow core.

_“He must know. He must” her silent thoughts to herself spoke. “Why else would he-“ her throat squeezed, biting back unshed tears. “Why else would he look so... at ease?” It wasn’t the best way to describe it, but her words would not come to her. The small smile, the fact he specified to say it now, it must me true. He knew she knew. But why be so... so unfair? So cruel? Why her of all people? Why must she be the one to finalize his demise? Reasons began to spin throughout her mind, some blaming fate, some blaming bad luck, ectera. But it was when her roulette wheel of reasons why stoped on the not-quite jackpot when she understood. She had made the connection herself earlier. She was terrified of being the voice of truth, just has he was once. They both stood at the precipice of an unfair and mortifying honesty, too afraid to make the jump. Yet he wishes her forward, perhaps in an attempt to encourage her. And as the gears clicked in place, she understood why. To encourage her to be a voice of truth, perhaps she will not cower away from it like he has for far too long. And if this is his final wish, if this is his last hope for himself and her... if that is the case, then..._

_Steadying her quivering lip, solidifying her shaky voice, she spoke with conviction and passion, the one the world has come to know as the usual speaking voice of the force of nature and truth Kaede Akamatsu._

_“The pictures. I’ve noticed something off about the pictures of Rantaro from the camera.”_

Propping the music up onto the piano, she instinctively began to sit upright, peparing. She placed her hands slowly into the keys in a resting position, before she began to perform.

“ _I’ve... Ive known who the killer is for a long time.”_

The first note resonated throughout the empty room, a soft comfortable sound that resonates within the walls of the room.

_“Then tell me. Tell me how I could have killed Rantaro with that shot.”_

Despite the skilled fingers that made their way across the keys, there was no passion behind the notes, only a projection of the grief she felt.

_“Why...? Why, after what I’ve done... why do you believe in me?”_

The piano slowly began to pick up volume, drowning out the thoughts in her mind, burying it under a skill she used to use to display, now used to hide from herself

_“You... you were right. I wasn’t wishing harm on Rantaro, or anyone of our friends. It was the master mind”_

As something began to bubble up in her chest, she began to smother it under the focus of the of song, determined to keep herself from letting that feeling invade the hollow space within her chest.

_“Thank you for believing in me Kaede.”_

Her willpower began to shake, in a similar manner to how she shook during the trial, but still she powered on, the jabs in her very core becoming unbearable, begging her to feel just as how she felt earlier.

_The collar wrapped it’s claws around his throat, and pulled hard, lifting him into the air._

Despite the tears beginning to form in the corners in her eyes, and the pressure in he throat from held in sobs, she still pushed herself to perform to the silence.

_As she dove towards him, their fingertips brushed, in a final attempt to save him, to rescue him from his own demise._

Her fingers that danced across the keys ever so gracefully began to falter, the passionate full body performance slowed as her shoulders shook.

_For the for both the first and final time in her life, her eyes met his, both of them, as his cap fluttered to the ground while he was tugged farther and farther into the sky, away from her grasp._

Finally, the playing stopped completely and suddenly, as she wiped a stray tear away, then another, until she began to weep into her hands openly.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a vent but not really?? Like I was feelin things so I decided to explore my Kaede lives/is innocent au and do a study in writing emotions such as grief guilt, facing the truth, and fear in the form of being honest... kinda like shuuichi but with Kaede bc I love her
> 
> Anyways I wrote this super quick while I should be studying for my math final tomorrow but I’m not ha 🤟👁👅👁🤟 wish me luck lol... OH ALSO this is unbeta’d this is just a dump thing also I don’t have a beta reader
> 
> Kudos and comments VERY appreciated 
> 
> Title is from the song Sombody Else by flora cash it’s a depression bop


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